Conflicts with friends, family and colleagues; even with strangers can be frustrating. Is it worth the incredible effort and patience to resolve the conflict? Conflict is a very natural happening in human relationship, it is like breathing.
We all deal with so much in our day-to-day lives. It sometimes seems that whenever we turn around, there is someone provoking us. Sometimes we believe that when we are provoked, we are entitled to reciprocate the action. Escalated conflict becomes a significant source of stress, especially when it is with our loved ones.
Conflict takes place because of the difference in opinion, beliefs, practices, habits even perception.
Majority of the people choose to avoid conflict by withdrawing or agreeing to the other person even though they disagree internally. By avoiding, we are simply escalating the situation and it will grow till it becomes unmanageable or can serve to cause deeper wounds that are certainly to open again in the future.
Approaching conflict in the wrong way can damage morale, create hostility. The more aggressive person tends to verbally tear the other person down as they feel it is the only way to ensure that they see their point. There are moments that we get too caught up in the conflict and end up in a more destructive situation.
When conflict is not handled appropriately or effectively; it can lead to costs.
To manage conflict, we must not sugar coat the issue so that it is easier to swallow but must begin with an open mind and diffuse it naturally by taking the emotion out of it and focusing on the facts. It is important for each person to open up and share their own thoughts, feelings and opinions; and to confront the other’s thoughts, feelings and opinions. It is equally important to honestly share feelings and needs. If someone hurts our feelings or crosses the boundary, it is very important to say so. To be congruent, we need to match our internal feelings with our external gestures.
By showing respect and caring, we reduce the tendency for conflicts to escalate due to hurt feelings. This can be accomplished by listening to what the other person is saying and not adding our own meaning. Repeating back what we heard from the other person helps to avoid confusion and demonstrates thorough listening.
Conflicts, arguments and fights happen, when we focus on using a few simple techniques, we can avoid situations where resentment and anger negatively shape a relationship and destroy the feelings we have with our loved ones. When conflict is handled correctly; it creates an opening to discover, develop and cultivate.